Long island sedates you.

I spent a long time figuring what I’d be able to talk about when it came to a 4 hour road-trip and an hour and a half ferry ride to Port Jefferson, Long Island. I sat down for nearly six hours, and from what I hear that does pretty terrible things to your body. So it made sense, of course, at the time, that if all I was gonna be doing was sitting down, listening to bethany’s parents comment on the commentary of the ongoing Red Sox game- I might as well eat and think of chewing as passing the time until I was able to go home and sit down again.

Before leaving Hyannis we stopped at a deli Bethany’s family called ‘Lunch Box’, but the way it was presented made me think it was actually called ‘Box Lunch’.


I’ll let you decide- though I wonder if the Restaurant was actually named ‘Lunch Box’ and not ‘Box Lunch’, why wouldn’t they switch the wording around in the first place? I don’t wanna have to puzzle my way into knowing the name of an establishment, that just signifies how highly a restaurant thinks of themselves- to suggest that people walking down the street would know to call the place ‘Lunch Box’ instead of ‘Box Lunch’ because a ‘lunchbox’ is a common noun whereas ‘Box Lunch’ is seemingly more uncommon- might as well have called the place ‘Bag Douche’ and not the other way around.

Entering the store, our eyes start to sting- you see a bunch of taller Massachusetts high-school Boys (taller because they’re in Massachusetts), on break from school, chopping clumsily away at some onions, looking around a couple a seconds, the proceeding on to stacking up on Cape Cod chips. They’re multitasking.

There’s a menu saturated in neon ink, a giant chest of lobster and fruit salads, another menu written in chalk, some Cape Cod Restoration donation box, and around the corner- another menu written with permanent ink. They’re not looking to confuse you.


So we order 4 lobster rolls to go as quickly as possible on an account that our eyes are tearing- Bethany shows a year-old coupon to the cashier and asks if the offer for free soup still applies. The coupon didn’t even look familiar to the cashier, but he gave it to her anyways- lobster bisque.

Our cashier hands us our rolls and we’re on our way- our lobster rolls becoming luke-warm in the car as none of us openly admit to wanting to eat at 11 in the morning.

We get stuck in traffic. Our GPS suggests that we might be late to our destination and so we call the ferry insisting that they push back our reservation. All is well until we’re looking for gas at which point- the seal breaks and we all start chomping down on our rolls.

Looking back I realized that I had ordered the ‘Gilded Lobster Roll’, which came with lobster salad, sliced tomato and avocado, mayonaise, and melted swiss cheese. I’m not sure if it was my severe lack of mobility at the moment or the exposure to all the car fumes, but, it wasn’t that good. I’m thinking I should’ve gotten a simple lettuce, tomato, mayonaise, and lobster salad roll- because it just seemed that the swiss and avocado shrouded the lobster from all of its flavor. Finishing the roll I was stuck with a milky taste that saturated my tongue with a combo of mashed avocado, carbon monoxide, and Starbucks when its been sitting in the plastic cup for a couple of days.


That was it. i took it while the paper wrap was resting on my lap. I was told the bottom half looking like a demon shark that was barking. That might’ve been the best part of it.

We get on the Port Jeff Ferry. It was interesting seeing how the same vessel that crammed in 60 cars at a time could be the same vessel with an upstairs cabin that smelled like absolute dank. Everything up there was lined with egg-white linoleum and chrome finishings, but in the worst way possible. There was a cafe on board that reeked of burnt oil and salty fries, after they had conglomerated with the leftover breaths of fresh gum pressed under the table, diesel from the boat, and severe lack of lysol.

Just thinking about it and I’m getting queasy.

We finally made it back- came home, had pizza, devoured a couple leftover Petticoat Lane Cupcakes, and watched ’21 Jump Street’.

Today- I’m off to Se-Port Deli. And cannot. wait. at. all.

Post gasm on a roll, I will return and be able to write a post that doesn’t include a single ‘and then’.



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